Called Out In Kansas

I love blogging, both the act of blogging, because it helps me develop my thought processes more clearly, but also reading others blogs, because it exposes me to the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit has planted in others.   I just finished reading a post by Keith Giles, at Subversive1.  If you haven’t read Keith’s blog, check it out.  He really has great things to say, and the post linked to below is no exception.

subversive1: THE MINISTRY OF ROBERT HIGGINS TO ME.

In this post Keith talks about his service to a gentleman named Robert, that has cancer, and it brought to mind something I’ve been kicking around in my head for awhile (there’s a lot of space up there).

I talk plenty about community.  I long for community.  I love relationships and desire to develop relationships in Christ.

….sometimes.

You see, I find that my flesh gets in the way of my experience of community, because I am either selfish, and don’t want to share those I am close to with others, or I am afraid to reach out for fear of rejection, or I would just rather be alone and not mess with other people.  I know, it sounds awful, and it is.

Something else I noticed at the worship conference I attended is how difficult it is for the body to relate to one another.  I think there is an instinctive lack of trust in others, at least there is in me.  I am quick to think the wrong thing of others’ actions, and am afraid that others will think wrong of mine.  Its like we’re all trying to dance together, but can’t get in the same rhythm, so we just keep stepping all over each other.  I think it will take some serious commitment to community to break through these barriers, and this is why Keith’s post spoke to me.  Keith has gone to great lengths to serve another human.  Interestingly he finds that the longer he serves the easier it becomes.  I think serving others changes us, and brings about maturity, because, as Keith notes, in serving Robert, Keith has learned a lot about himself and about Christ.

In dealing with my own difficulties with relationships and community, I find the source to be from my childhood (a very freudian thing to say, but true), where I decided at some point to not rely on others, and just take care of myself.  I have struggled with this, and prayed for understanding and deliverance, but the problem has remained.  While going to get groceries for lunch at the conference, the Lord spoke something to me.  He said (not audibly) that I just have to do it.  I can not let my insecurities stand in the way.  I have to approach, love and serve others, and as I do, that barrier inside me will be destroyed.  But, as it so often is, the next step is mine!  It also helped just to understand the shift that took place so many years ago, to be self-reliant, because that is an untenable position in the body, and in my conscious mind I strive to have my full reliance in Him.  I see in this an opportunity to trust Him more, and that is what I want.

Thanks for bearing with my ramblings.

So I was working in the ER last night, and a young gentleman in his 20’s came in with abdominal pain.  We took care of his medical issue, and just before being discharged he says the following to the nurse:  “Do you mind if I tell you a short story?”  He then proceeds to witness to this nurse about what God means to him, and how this nurse can have this to.  I didn’t hear everything, but I heard mention of eternity and other traditional Christian verbage .  The nurse politely interacted, and talked about how he has been free from drugs for over 20 years, etc. etc., and the conversation goes on for several more minutes.  After the patient left, the nurse came back to the nurse’s station, shaking his head at the attempt to “convert” him.

Here’s my gripe.  This patient was well-intentioned.  He was polite during his stay, easy to get along with, and it did not surprise me to learn he was a Christian.  Even so, he can testify to this nurse all day long, but it MEANS NOTHING WITHOUT AN ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP, or at least some kind of connection that would cause this nurse to put stock in what this person said.  In my opinion, this type of “evangelism” is mis-guided on multiple levels.

1.  It is not done within the confines of an established relationship on some level.  It doesn’t matter to the unsaved what “Jesus has done for me” unless the unsaved has a reason to care what Jesus has done for me.

2.  We are not selling a get out of hell free card here.  I am really not interested, personally, in preaching Christ as a way to avoid eternal damnation.  I am much more interested in preaching Christ as the center of my life, the redeemer of my soul, the final sacrifice that makes me right with God, and brings me back into relationship with God.  I would rather testify to how He has changed my life, and how, through giving over my life to Him I am being transformed.  (As I sit here and write this I am amazed that it is difficult for me to describe the alternative that I’d rather testify to, as I thought that would be easy.  I’m not sure what that speaks to.)

3.  I am sure there are times when the Spirit leads us to, out of the blue, share the gospel with an unbeliever.  I don’t think such a witness will be fully random, but rather based on some sort of conversation had between the two people, or even a specific word given by the Lord, to be shared with the unbeliever.  Going back to #1, there just has to be a connection on some level, for the testimony to mean anything to the one being witnessed to.

I really don’t think that the attempt to witness to this individual was of any benefit, and if anything it may have been detrimental.  This nurse does not profess Christ.  He does profess God, and has a very native American flavor to his beliefs, but does not profess Christ.  He needs to see the gospel lived out in a very real way, not presented as a sales pitch, in a contrived manner.

So, I’ve said what I think.  What do you think?